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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Is It My Rebirth??

I had no clue what I could see beyond my ken before this episode. Here goes my next blog. I was asleep at my bed; I was having a pleasant dream. I was amused with my dream. Suddenly I was feeling uncomfortable and was quivering back and forth from my bed. I knew I was tired. I was feeling cold and was adjusting my blanket to fit my body warm. Something had disturbed me for sure. Now my eyes were wide open but I could see nothing than the dark night which had filled my room. I think I was all alone. I was in a mood to figure out where I went wrong which made me feel uncomfortable. Was it my dream??? I was asking this question to myself. Just then I could finish my first question I had started to ponder deeply. Was it the pleasant dream that had ended in an unpleasant way the so called nightmare?? But, I was left unanswered to my own questions. I was filled with apprehension and anxiety. What I was really doing right then after these couple of questions. I was Checking my wears, I came up with an answer this time, yup, I was wearing levis strauss signature t-shirt and a cargo pant. I was also wearing a cross(poonal). It was then time to recollect my dream under my warm blanket but still was freezing out in cold when I come out of my blanket. So I saw it a safe den under
my blanket. I couldn’t visualize what my dream was.


The dream was something like I was surrounded by group of friends (office colleagues) having fun at train and was heading towards some destination so called tour. To my fortune my childhood friend whom I considerclosest of mine is also in another compartment of train. I just gave a call to him. I was curious to introduce him to my colleagues and I did so. I was filled with complacency and was playing some cards game with my colleagues and the train was zipping.


I was amidst of recollecting my dream but, before I could finish some weird sound it was a sound of unlocking the bolt of my room door the dull corridor light was entering the room and I could also see a shadow moving in my direction. Just before the person who entered my room could switch on the lights I was making myself ready I was coming out of my blanket partially. Lights were on. It was my office colleague Gomu.


He saw me. I was awake. I don’t remember exactly what he was asking to me but he was astonished and he was damn sure in bringing someone near to me, before he could finish his tricky thoughts I asked him where was mathan(another office colleagues)?. Just exactly a minute later I was crowded. I could recognize mathan is beside me and Hari is in front of me.

“How are you feeling now?”asked Mathan

“Ya I’m feeling good now”.

My apprehension was at the peak my heart started to pound hard though I gave a good answer to his question.

Me:- Keeping my hand at the back of my head I asked,“am I hit hard somewhere?”

“yup” said Mathan and continued the rest of my dream.

“We had a camp fire.We were playing a game called pulse. In that game you collided with another person and fainted at the same place and we are at Koldaikanal ” added Mathan.

Goddam!!!!! A voice inside me shouted. Now I was realizing what I thought as dream was not really my dream It had happened for me. Just to confirm things I asked, ”My friend was with me in the train and his name (struggled a bit in recollecting) Achu(my childhood friend) rite?”

Mathan:-“Yup”.

Cynical!!!!!!!!! Again a voice from inside. Now I had no other go rather to confront that I got a loss of memory.

“It was like a dream from me. I will try to act normal”, this was my dialogue for next 15 mins. I was frantically searching for my mobile just to recollect the people of my 22 years life. At last someone gave my mobile to me and my right hand thumb just scrolled across the dialed numbers to check whether I got to know someone. Some number passed down when I scrolled “Yup, Its my dad's number” my mind replied.

The crowd had dissolved. It was time for me to sleep. Mathan and Gomu accompanied me. Again a good sleep. Everything was normal in the morning. I heard from mathan that a girl was shredded with tears for what had happened to me. I was astonished and I felt how serious the accident was. I was as usual till noon until I felt I was forgetting things which had happened in the morning to quite some extent.

It was noon (Sunday). I felt I was stranded, crying out loud from inside. I need my mom beside me but I know It would at least take 10 hours from then. I kept going with them. I somehow managed to reach my home. It was Morning (Monday).How I could tell my parents that I met with an accident and I was unconscious with a loss of memory. I know they were starting a tour to rameshwaram a day later and I also knew that was my mom’s longing tour since she was born. I didn’t want to put her excitement in vain. I opened up to my brother and my brother managed it to convey the incident to my parents.

I didn’t want to give trouble to anyone. Everyone started to see me with at most care. I knew still I’m forgetting things and I’m not normal in my activities. I went in for a treatment and three days later a scan report stating normal study. Everyone thanked the god. So did I. I was on rest for a hebdomad.

What did I see really beyond my ken?? It’s my rebirth. I’m writing this blog on my cremation ceremony if I had died.( ☺). I really struggled a lot to come back to normal in this one week. I just thought of mentally challenged children with one question in my mind “How would they feel??”. I’m now shredded with tears. Don’t try to get an answer, for it you have to be a parent of that kinda child or you have to lose memory like me ☺….. Eventhough it’s a bitter pills to swallow up, here I’m reborn to learn things in my life in a better way hoping always an amusement awaits for me.

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