Is It My Rebirth??

I had no clue what I could see beyond my ken before this episode. Here goes my next blog. I was asleep at my bed; I was having a pleasant dream. I was amused with my dream. Suddenly I was feeling uncomfortable and was quivering back and forth from my bed. I knew I was tired. I was feeling cold and was adjusting my blanket to fit my body warm. Something had disturbed me for sure. Now my eyes were wide open but I could see nothing than the dark night which had filled my room. I think I was all alone. I was in a mood to figure out where I went wrong which made me feel uncomfortable. Was it my dream??? I was asking this question to myself. Just then I could finish my first question I had started to ponder deeply. Was it the pleasant dream that had ended in an unpleasant way the so called nightmare?? But, I was left unanswered to my own questions. I was filled with apprehension and anxiety. What I was really doing right then after these couple of questions. I was Checking my wears, I came up with an answer this time, yup, I was wearing levis strauss signature t-shirt and a cargo pant. I was also wearing a cross(poonal). It was then time to recollect my dream under my warm blanket but still was freezing out in cold when I come out of my blanket. So I saw it a safe den under
my blanket. I couldn’t visualize what my dream was.


The dream was something like I was surrounded by group of friends (office colleagues) having fun at train and was heading towards some destination so called tour. To my fortune my childhood friend whom I considerclosest of mine is also in another compartment of train. I just gave a call to him. I was curious to introduce him to my colleagues and I did so. I was filled with complacency and was playing some cards game with my colleagues and the train was zipping.


I was amidst of recollecting my dream but, before I could finish some weird sound it was a sound of unlocking the bolt of my room door the dull corridor light was entering the room and I could also see a shadow moving in my direction. Just before the person who entered my room could switch on the lights I was making myself ready I was coming out of my blanket partially. Lights were on. It was my office colleague Gomu.


He saw me. I was awake. I don’t remember exactly what he was asking to me but he was astonished and he was damn sure in bringing someone near to me, before he could finish his tricky thoughts I asked him where was mathan(another office colleagues)?. Just exactly a minute later I was crowded. I could recognize mathan is beside me and Hari is in front of me.

“How are you feeling now?”asked Mathan

“Ya I’m feeling good now”.

My apprehension was at the peak my heart started to pound hard though I gave a good answer to his question.

Me:- Keeping my hand at the back of my head I asked,“am I hit hard somewhere?”

“yup” said Mathan and continued the rest of my dream.

“We had a camp fire.We were playing a game called pulse. In that game you collided with another person and fainted at the same place and we are at Koldaikanal ” added Mathan.

Goddam!!!!! A voice inside me shouted. Now I was realizing what I thought as dream was not really my dream It had happened for me. Just to confirm things I asked, ”My friend was with me in the train and his name (struggled a bit in recollecting) Achu(my childhood friend) rite?”

Mathan:-“Yup”.

Cynical!!!!!!!!! Again a voice from inside. Now I had no other go rather to confront that I got a loss of memory.

“It was like a dream from me. I will try to act normal”, this was my dialogue for next 15 mins. I was frantically searching for my mobile just to recollect the people of my 22 years life. At last someone gave my mobile to me and my right hand thumb just scrolled across the dialed numbers to check whether I got to know someone. Some number passed down when I scrolled “Yup, Its my dad's number” my mind replied.

The crowd had dissolved. It was time for me to sleep. Mathan and Gomu accompanied me. Again a good sleep. Everything was normal in the morning. I heard from mathan that a girl was shredded with tears for what had happened to me. I was astonished and I felt how serious the accident was. I was as usual till noon until I felt I was forgetting things which had happened in the morning to quite some extent.

It was noon (Sunday). I felt I was stranded, crying out loud from inside. I need my mom beside me but I know It would at least take 10 hours from then. I kept going with them. I somehow managed to reach my home. It was Morning (Monday).How I could tell my parents that I met with an accident and I was unconscious with a loss of memory. I know they were starting a tour to rameshwaram a day later and I also knew that was my mom’s longing tour since she was born. I didn’t want to put her excitement in vain. I opened up to my brother and my brother managed it to convey the incident to my parents.

I didn’t want to give trouble to anyone. Everyone started to see me with at most care. I knew still I’m forgetting things and I’m not normal in my activities. I went in for a treatment and three days later a scan report stating normal study. Everyone thanked the god. So did I. I was on rest for a hebdomad.

What did I see really beyond my ken?? It’s my rebirth. I’m writing this blog on my cremation ceremony if I had died.( ☺). I really struggled a lot to come back to normal in this one week. I just thought of mentally challenged children with one question in my mind “How would they feel??”. I’m now shredded with tears. Don’t try to get an answer, for it you have to be a parent of that kinda child or you have to lose memory like me ☺….. Eventhough it’s a bitter pills to swallow up, here I’m reborn to learn things in my life in a better way hoping always an amusement awaits for me.

Reach Now Or Repent Forever....

I have never had thought I would write some thing which is apart from my real life happening. Just before you could start this blog I want you to revert some of your memories. When do you feel the contentment to be peak in our life? Is it when you saw your mom’s face who comes to receive you after your school hours when you were in kinder garden?? Or is it the moment you enjoyed with your friends in your school picnic? Or is it the first proposal you made to a girl/boy? Or is it the happy school days where you sat on last bench to pass comments on teachers? Or is it the pride that you passed the +2 examination with good marks than you expected? Or is it the achievement that you got a job in your pocket after a great enjoyment of schooling years????? According to me no one can pick one as special moment for him/her. Happiness of your life comes along with your voyage and it’s not a destination. The deeper fact is it’s not the participation of your soul alone it’s also your parents, friends and relatives who gave you such moments to scribble something in your dairy of life. If you have a amusement now when you stare at the sky with a feel it’s worth living this life and I’ve peoples around me to shore up for a greater destiny you are the champ!!!!!. There are also other sides in your voyage to think about.

I’m not a great person to write about relationship but still I thought to share my views and go deeper in my thoughts to explore how relations work in real life. Have you ever thought these relations (parents, friends and relatives) would show you the much of a love in the way you didn’t covet?!?!?!?!?. Of course no one would. There are at times where you haven’t understood much about the relation or any of the relation haven’t understood much about you. At those times when you find a solution for yourself and win over (make other one understand) you are the champ!!!!. But most of ours won’t all the time. Do you know where does this really break?? We couldn’t imagine right? Read on!!!!!!!!!


There are always things around us which we fail to appreciate or take things for granted. Behind the screen we think those are silly things to greet. But for the other person it means a lot. You as an individual teach the people around you unknowingly and for the loved ones they take it without any question. Because you don’t claim them to take whatever you say but if you teach them something that the other person also loves it because you love it. It should be appreciated for ever. If you don’t that’s where other person feelings sinks and gasp for it As we sail down our path we see some switch in our thoughts and we name it as expectations and maturity. Now slow down your pace of reading for this question. Have we ever thought those expectations and maturity going to affect the relations around us??? You are the champ!!!!! if you give a second thought to it. For everyone life has got its own pace and we will be definitely going to drop the one which hurts us. Of course, everyone wants to find things in positive way but, still those peoples shouldn’t be the wounds in your life.


To conclude I will put in my opinion in a whole. There is always a saying speech is silver and silence is gold this won’t hold all the time in relation unless both are in perplexity. Always openness is what expected in relation so it’s better to call a spade a spade but with some gentleness or one may bring trouble to oneself and you will find it difficult to repair the damage that has been done. There ends the problem if the other person feels it really worth taking his/her words. He/she would definitely have a thought over it. Openness is where the other part of happiness lies in relationships. It's your own responsibility to turn the tables on. Still if you keep your thoughts in the dark you will find it a hard nut to crack. So reach now or repent for ever…………

Am I Begging For Love???

Now here in Pune. I Started to pen down my thoughts after a long time just a feel that I’m isolated. At my room corner just lying down with utter rage and was tapping my forehead with my fingers what am I really doing??? Nothing really happened that was a usual day just a message from my loved one “Hey Anna I’m staying at my sister’s home can’t talk with you properly call you tomorrow. Don’t mind it Good nite! Sweet Dreams!! Take Care! Sleep well!” what really went wrong here? Nothing a quiet voice inside me whispers but still continued to tap on my forehead pondering over that small message and I’d a question with me am I begging for love?? But just to calm down my thoughts the darkness around me signalled to get on with it and asked me to drift off for late night sleep. Just grinned at my thought I said to myself it was time to drift off.


I know the thought didn’t let off. It was month end I was forced to count my penny for my dinner I know recounting won’t give me a better result, smile on my face and finally made up my mind to go for banana and in the rustling voice of the breeze I just started to walk down the small street with my two hands filling my trousers pocket and my memories back to another time and it was my childhood days where my father returns home after a tired night shift work with a bun covered in a plastic cover and I’d remember he gives it to my mom and my mom is the one who divides it up in to three pieces and share it among our three (my two brothers). When I thought those minute I was left with no words. It was my feel then that the breeze just patted my head to say I had something that made them to show their love for me. A horn from the zipping vehicle brought me back to world and it sounded like now I’m begging for love!!!!!!!

All would feel the love of others at some point of time and I’m a normal mortal feeling another dimension of love.