1 month back I came from B'lore...I got a job in my pocket. I thought that all war has ended, with a rejuvenated feel I stepped in chennai....I felt the fragrance of my city as I crossed the river koovam...As a first job of mine I went to a tea shop after a very tired five hours of journey from there took an auto to my cousin's house which is in triplicane. I wanted to revert back my memories so went a stroll along the coast of marina beach with ma cousin the same evening after the dusk. we just skimmed through our golden flash back in that chilled breeze and started to hunt the chats over their.After a couple of days of stay I started my way back to my sweet home with lot of expectations to see my mom's cute face which took two hours to reach my place in that humid evening. As I was busy talking with my friends at the gate but, my mom couldn't wait, she rushed up the gate and just stared at me with a big sigh and held my hands with a feel that I'm back to her. At that moment I was left wordless all I did was repented for no reason. As I walked down the streets I'd some tests for my patience, to dismantle my feelings I was asked questions as if I was a loser at IBM (see pervious blog)
"You were thrown out of IBM right?"
"Recently many where sacked in IBM and you were also one among them right?"
These questions really broken my resilience, even though, I thought them as a mob gang and it is obvious too. I convinced myself that I've a good time ahead and patted my feel in a right track.
"Hiding the fear is the act of bravery"
- The quote suits me perfectly. Despite the fact that I'm bold enough to face the time ahead, but at present I must confront with this wounded pride. I kept those things aside and spent some time with my parents which gave me a moral support, even then I've a guilty conscious that I disheartened their feelings....I'd reiterate these memories as bitter pills to swallow up. Now life shows that it has something in store for me which is beyond my ken. It takes time to realize.
There is lot to blame me but, I wont. I’m inevitably made to drift a lot in my voyage of life. I sat by windowsills of my home which made me to down pat the importance of others. My friend Hari rather I can say who mean a lot to me, 3 weeks back from the time of this post his mother was hospitalized and I got a chance to take care of her for one day, and in-between the day he left nearly five calls to me, in each call he added something for me (like am I comfortable in that new place et al), that came form the steep of his heart I pondered seriously do I, mean a lot to him? I had a small talk with her sister too over the phone on the same day, "This is not a big deal if hari has done this but you as a friend of him doing this to us, really thank you pa", and these words really left me in tears. This incident made me to realize that others (some) have something in store for me. As I sail down the life, it teaches me that it has some regrets and rewards for me. I might seem I'm washed ashore but will never give up, keep on sailing having in mind an amusement awaiting for me.
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