This is a quote that all would realize at some point of time in our zipping journey of life... A quite voice inside me whispers "Why didn't I know my mum's love?". It was like a normal day about 7 in the dawn my mom was shouting my name aloud but, my dialogue was the same as usual (5 min ma) and drifted off. Ten minutes thereafter a call from my mom made me to realize it was my friend who was shouting my name. Pushed my blanket aside and walked in for a quick bath. Then it was my break fast time the P.G attender who yelled at me if I take more than 2 rotis at that time I stared up I'd see only my mom's face and I'd remembered the days where I'd yelled at my mom for adding one more roti on to my plate and from there I started to feel lonely without her. It was my office time then called for my mom to say bye me then realized no one was there and started for my office with feel of groan. I thought if that could be my mundane my heart started to pound. I just turned around my life it was my mom who lived a part of my life.
I tried to forget about the bouts which I'd in my mind but, droning voice of the trainer made me to transport back to another time and another place and it was my college life with my friends making fun of the lecturer, bunked off classes, small small tussles, college days cricket all those I missed out. Now here I'm titled as a professional and shackled for it. In the evening I was into a claustrophobic room and the dull lightened
varanda made me to feel pester. All I did was stood at the patio to listen the rustled voice of the trees and then I turned around to see my friends who lived a part of my life. As life unfolds I realized it was also the others who had accompanied my life and the stints come up only once in life. peoples often realizes when things bid us good bye and its our responsibility to ransack and greet and be blissful with those persons.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Life has got something in store for me........
1 month back I came from B'lore...I got a job in my pocket. I thought that all war has ended, with a rejuvenated feel I stepped in chennai....I felt the fragrance of my city as I crossed the river koovam...As a first job of mine I went to a tea shop after a very tired five hours of journey from there took an auto to my cousin's house which is in triplicane. I wanted to revert back my memories so went a stroll along the coast of marina beach with ma cousin the same evening after the dusk. we just skimmed through our golden flash back in that chilled breeze and started to hunt the chats over their.After a couple of days of stay I started my way back to my sweet home with lot of expectations to see my mom's cute face which took two hours to reach my place in that humid evening. As I was busy talking with my friends at the gate but, my mom couldn't wait, she rushed up the gate and just stared at me with a big sigh and held my hands with a feel that I'm back to her. At that moment I was left wordless all I did was repented for no reason. As I walked down the streets I'd some tests for my patience, to dismantle my feelings I was asked questions as if I was a loser at IBM (see pervious blog)
"You were thrown out of IBM right?"
"Recently many where sacked in IBM and you were also one among them right?"
These questions really broken my resilience, even though, I thought them as a mob gang and it is obvious too. I convinced myself that I've a good time ahead and patted my feel in a right track.
"Hiding the fear is the act of bravery"
- The quote suits me perfectly. Despite the fact that I'm bold enough to face the time ahead, but at present I must confront with this wounded pride. I kept those things aside and spent some time with my parents which gave me a moral support, even then I've a guilty conscious that I disheartened their feelings....I'd reiterate these memories as bitter pills to swallow up. Now life shows that it has something in store for me which is beyond my ken. It takes time to realize.
There is lot to blame me but, I wont. I’m inevitably made to drift a lot in my voyage of life. I sat by windowsills of my home which made me to down pat the importance of others. My friend Hari rather I can say who mean a lot to me, 3 weeks back from the time of this post his mother was hospitalized and I got a chance to take care of her for one day, and in-between the day he left nearly five calls to me, in each call he added something for me (like am I comfortable in that new place et al), that came form the steep of his heart I pondered seriously do I, mean a lot to him? I had a small talk with her sister too over the phone on the same day, "This is not a big deal if hari has done this but you as a friend of him doing this to us, really thank you pa", and these words really left me in tears. This incident made me to realize that others (some) have something in store for me. As I sail down the life, it teaches me that it has some regrets and rewards for me. I might seem I'm washed ashore but will never give up, keep on sailing having in mind an amusement awaiting for me.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
My First Blog
I started to write my blog. It was about 6’o clock evening with my laptop having my fingers across the keyboard I was about to start my blog.
“Why peoples write blog?
Why they share their experience with others?
-this is really bakwas”
This was what I had in ma mind 6 months back. Now you may ask me what has happened to me in this 6 months and what had changed me to write a blog about myself?!?!?!?!?!?........ This is what I’m about to share with you now….
September 7-‘cRyInG mOmEnTs’
This was the day with lots and lots of dreams in ma life and about to miss ma home town – ‘Chennai’. I really wonder at times how peoples are staying away even though when they are in need of others. Its no matter that I should wonder now as a matter of fact now me too had experienced that. Now lemme allow ma blog to cry out for me…..:-(
September I woke up by 9:00am started off to think about ma B’lore life then had some little chat with my mom and packed up things for my new life.
It was about 12’o clock from there my fingers started to scroll down the contacts in my mobile to leave out a message for my friends and relatives saying I was going to join great IBM, so I was starting tonight in 2 tire ac train by 11:15. All where really happy and greeted me for ma future life.
It was about 5’o clock things started to happen faster and me got thrilled and excited for the much awaited B’lore life. Suddenly the scenario got changed ma mom with tears about to fell down on the floor stood aside me and peoples started to convince her, I ran short of words for ma cute mom, because I felt the same.
It was then 6’oclock. I had no time. I had to finish off things soon, ran to temple to get blessings.
It was 9’o clock I was at the railway station with a pride that I was going to join IBM then an hour later some of my friends, relatives and ma brothers were with me. I felt so much by holding my friends hand then it was time to say bye to ma friends, hugged each of ma friend which I would never ever forget. A long horn from the driver made me cry out loud inside ma heart, no other go ran and climbed up the train holding the door tightly ma hands slowly raised up to say bye bye.
After this day sep-7 l had learnt so many things in ma life which made me to write a blog about myself. Here is my B’lore life….@>--
Ma 6Months B’lore Life(Rather Life At IBM):
September-8 I stepped into B’lore. I expected that I would smell a different part of ma life, but still I had an instinct that I would be in B’lore for shorter period only. Three days went rapidly. Even though it was cold in B’lore then I felt the heat. I was not feeling well.
September-11 this was the day I joined at IBM (What a day to start with!!).I prepared my self for the first day wearing ‘Rugers’ pant neatly tucked in. I reached Grand Ashoka Hotel at 9:00 am there was a chunk of crowd where guys speaking to each other, and me too clubbed with them and it was about 9:15 am me and 2 of ma college friends entered the induction hall, about 300 peoples were sitting in the hall. The day started off with a sparkling speech by the IBM staffs then at the end of the day list of contacts in ma mobile augmented.
September-13 this was the day I stepped in to IBM office to collect my white ID badge. The first six days I had no trouble as I accommodated myself in ma aunt’s house then I was forced to think about my accommodation, so the same night I went in search of a paying guest at a place called Marthahalli. From there only I realized how tedious it to survive in this world is!?!?!?!....luckily for me I got a PG so the next day me and 2 of ma friends decided to stay together in that P.G but the same night(SEP-14) one of ma friend withdrawn from that P.G. So ma another friend also refused to stay with me. I had ever experienced this sort of situation. I had no choice in ma hand, so I walked back to ma aunt’s house.
After 1 week r so I got in to some other P.G. The above incident really taught me a lot …….
Training days at IBM:
My training was at an external venue and it went for 45 days this was one of the happiest moments I’ve ever had. We had free food or 45 days. I admired so much that I couldn’t envision guys with talents like this!!!!!!!!!.... In out training we were 19 in number. Each one talented in their own way. The one moment which I shall share with you is October-17 if not its no worth writing this blog.
It was about 11:00 am guys surrounded me for a birthday bumps…, I never really expected to happen then in front of me was a cute little pink cake rather I can say it as the love of 18 guys.
November-22 our training got over. I definitely want to quote a couch for this day-‘changeover from heaven to hell’.
The Bench Days(Nail Biting survival):
At first I was enjoying the bench days where I met lot many peoples from different regions. The only resource for me on bench is ‘Bommarillu’ the awesome film which I had ever admired from other films.
One month passed away some of them got in to projects, but me got some familiarity from ‘Bommarillu’ and managed to gain knowledge of some words in Telugu then came the real entwine the ELTP(Entry Level Trainee) test rather termination test. We had the test on jan 1st week I don’t remember the date exactly. After which I was in a complete anarchy, where several questions I asked to myself.
”What if I’m out of IBM?
How do ma Parents treat me?
Do I dserve IBM first of all?”
Two weeks later IBM- the big blues debanded all of the ACE Associates (arts and science students) to band-4 from band-6. we were given a BPO kind of work. Then I was in a clear chaos –“Should I quit IBM or stay back for its brand value??”
In the month of feb ELTP results started to come out many were fired and me kept my fingers crossed. I realized I need to uphold so I went in search of job, but nothing favored me atlast at feb 16 I got through TCS interview from there all things favored me on feb 18 I got congrats mail for ma ELTP test.
Then again a small chaos –“should I be in IBM or TCS?”. At last I made up ma mind for TCS and resigned IBM on feb 29.(what a day again!!). Now I’m in a feel that ma life wheel has rolled a lot I could have down pat those days (Sep-11—Feb-29) even when years pass away. Lemme look out what happens in ma TCS voyage .
The quote which I can add for ma IBM life is
“WAR ENEDED AT IBM, BUT I LOST THE FIELD”
Look out for my next blog.
“Why peoples write blog?
Why they share their experience with others?
-this is really bakwas”
This was what I had in ma mind 6 months back. Now you may ask me what has happened to me in this 6 months and what had changed me to write a blog about myself?!?!?!?!?!?........ This is what I’m about to share with you now….
September 7-‘cRyInG mOmEnTs’
This was the day with lots and lots of dreams in ma life and about to miss ma home town – ‘Chennai’. I really wonder at times how peoples are staying away even though when they are in need of others. Its no matter that I should wonder now as a matter of fact now me too had experienced that. Now lemme allow ma blog to cry out for me…..:-(
September I woke up by 9:00am started off to think about ma B’lore life then had some little chat with my mom and packed up things for my new life.
It was about 12’o clock from there my fingers started to scroll down the contacts in my mobile to leave out a message for my friends and relatives saying I was going to join great IBM, so I was starting tonight in 2 tire ac train by 11:15. All where really happy and greeted me for ma future life.
It was about 5’o clock things started to happen faster and me got thrilled and excited for the much awaited B’lore life. Suddenly the scenario got changed ma mom with tears about to fell down on the floor stood aside me and peoples started to convince her, I ran short of words for ma cute mom, because I felt the same.
It was then 6’oclock. I had no time. I had to finish off things soon, ran to temple to get blessings.
It was 9’o clock I was at the railway station with a pride that I was going to join IBM then an hour later some of my friends, relatives and ma brothers were with me. I felt so much by holding my friends hand then it was time to say bye to ma friends, hugged each of ma friend which I would never ever forget. A long horn from the driver made me cry out loud inside ma heart, no other go ran and climbed up the train holding the door tightly ma hands slowly raised up to say bye bye.
After this day sep-7 l had learnt so many things in ma life which made me to write a blog about myself. Here is my B’lore life….@>--
Ma 6Months B’lore Life(Rather Life At IBM):
September-8 I stepped into B’lore. I expected that I would smell a different part of ma life, but still I had an instinct that I would be in B’lore for shorter period only. Three days went rapidly. Even though it was cold in B’lore then I felt the heat. I was not feeling well.
September-11 this was the day I joined at IBM (What a day to start with!!).I prepared my self for the first day wearing ‘Rugers’ pant neatly tucked in. I reached Grand Ashoka Hotel at 9:00 am there was a chunk of crowd where guys speaking to each other, and me too clubbed with them and it was about 9:15 am me and 2 of ma college friends entered the induction hall, about 300 peoples were sitting in the hall. The day started off with a sparkling speech by the IBM staffs then at the end of the day list of contacts in ma mobile augmented.
September-13 this was the day I stepped in to IBM office to collect my white ID badge. The first six days I had no trouble as I accommodated myself in ma aunt’s house then I was forced to think about my accommodation, so the same night I went in search of a paying guest at a place called Marthahalli. From there only I realized how tedious it to survive in this world is!?!?!?!....luckily for me I got a PG so the next day me and 2 of ma friends decided to stay together in that P.G but the same night(SEP-14) one of ma friend withdrawn from that P.G. So ma another friend also refused to stay with me. I had ever experienced this sort of situation. I had no choice in ma hand, so I walked back to ma aunt’s house.
After 1 week r so I got in to some other P.G. The above incident really taught me a lot …….
Training days at IBM:
My training was at an external venue and it went for 45 days this was one of the happiest moments I’ve ever had. We had free food or 45 days. I admired so much that I couldn’t envision guys with talents like this!!!!!!!!!.... In out training we were 19 in number. Each one talented in their own way. The one moment which I shall share with you is October-17 if not its no worth writing this blog.
It was about 11:00 am guys surrounded me for a birthday bumps…, I never really expected to happen then in front of me was a cute little pink cake rather I can say it as the love of 18 guys.
November-22 our training got over. I definitely want to quote a couch for this day-‘changeover from heaven to hell’.
The Bench Days(Nail Biting survival):
At first I was enjoying the bench days where I met lot many peoples from different regions. The only resource for me on bench is ‘Bommarillu’ the awesome film which I had ever admired from other films.
One month passed away some of them got in to projects, but me got some familiarity from ‘Bommarillu’ and managed to gain knowledge of some words in Telugu then came the real entwine the ELTP(Entry Level Trainee) test rather termination test. We had the test on jan 1st week I don’t remember the date exactly. After which I was in a complete anarchy, where several questions I asked to myself.
”What if I’m out of IBM?
How do ma Parents treat me?
Do I dserve IBM first of all?”
Two weeks later IBM- the big blues debanded all of the ACE Associates (arts and science students) to band-4 from band-6. we were given a BPO kind of work. Then I was in a clear chaos –“Should I quit IBM or stay back for its brand value??”
In the month of feb ELTP results started to come out many were fired and me kept my fingers crossed. I realized I need to uphold so I went in search of job, but nothing favored me atlast at feb 16 I got through TCS interview from there all things favored me on feb 18 I got congrats mail for ma ELTP test.
Then again a small chaos –“should I be in IBM or TCS?”. At last I made up ma mind for TCS and resigned IBM on feb 29.(what a day again!!). Now I’m in a feel that ma life wheel has rolled a lot I could have down pat those days (Sep-11—Feb-29) even when years pass away. Lemme look out what happens in ma TCS voyage .
The quote which I can add for ma IBM life is
“WAR ENEDED AT IBM, BUT I LOST THE FIELD”
Look out for my next blog.
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